In this 1979 talk, Julie described the difficulties widowed, divorced and single women face. She talked about the importance of truth, forgiveness, trust in God fighting temptation and utilizing headship in facing these difficulties. She encouraged unmarried women to take their place in the body of Christ and to invest time in their sisters.
Transcript
This document is a direct transcript of an audio recording, and may contain transcription errors and other minor edits for the sake of clarity.
[Tape begins after Julie has already begun speaking.]
JULIE: . . . I was trying to think of some credentials that I could offer you. [Julie and others laugh.]
Okay, now, [inaudible] . . . that there are three groups of you here today: there are the widows andâthose who have been married and whose husbands have died; and the divorced women, whose husbands are still alive but who donât have their support; and the single women, whose decisionâsome whose decision is to be single, and some whoâve made the decision to be married but are still single. And our approach in the talks are [sic] going to be that youâre unmarried women.
In Corinthians one, 7, verse 34, Saint Paul says,
And the unmarried woman or virgin is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please her husband.
And this passage has been explained this way. By the term âunmarried woman,â Saint Paul certainly meant not only the woman who has never been married, but also the one who, freed from the bond of matrimony by widowhood, has ceased to be married. Therefore, he speaks of a woman as âmarriedâ only when she has a husband. Not when she has had one and has one no longer. So those who are divorced live as though they have no husbands.
And in a way, you have all had a shocking experience, to a certain extent. It could be the shock of a loss of a husband, either through death or through divorce. And perhaps for some of you who are single and havenât chosen to be that way, itâs rather a shock that youâre still single, because thatâs not what youâve chosen. The Lord has chosen that for you.
Although we consider you all unmarried and with similar difficulties and problems, there are differences also. And what we want to encourage you to do is to listen as we talk about the difficulties, say, of widowhood, andâif youâre single, you listen to that very carefully. Andâso that you can learn what the difficulties are for theâfor your sisters. And then you can just really anâsupport them a lot better. Those of us who are married also have difficulties to work through, too. And as we try to understand one anotherâs state in life better, then weâre able to support one another a lot better.
And the Lord showed me once, when I was contending against lies and difficulties in my state in life, that problems and lies were like termites. Termites can only live in darkness. As long as they live in the dark, they can eat away at a house until the houseâthe whole foundation of the house crumbles. But as soon as a termite is exposed to the light, it dies. And when we keep our problems and difficulties inside ourselves, we canâthey can just be our downfall. But just exposing them to the light seems to kill the hold that they have on us, even if they canât be solved. And one of the reasons I know so much about termites is because they ate the whole wall in between our family room and our kitchen, before we knew we even had them!
I was also reminded of the psalm that we sing: âYea, thou dost light my lamp. The Lord, my God, lightens my darknessâ [âPsalm 18â by Jane Y. Terwilliger]. And I was thinking that, as with everything that we encounter, if we go to the Lord, whoâs the true source of our light, that no matter what darkness there is inâor what problems we have, that as we run to him, our problems are brought to the light. And we can look at them, and we can put our love and our trust in him, and we can say yes to those difficulties if we have to.
The talk this morning is going toâwell, theâsort of the title of it is called âApproaching the Difficulties of the Unmarried State.â And weâre going to talk about the situation that the widow, the divorced woman, and the single woman finds herself in. And how she needs to contend against her emotions, the lies of Satan, and worldly teaching. Weâll talk about her relationships, and building relationships to counteract loneliness. . . .
Does anyone need note paper?
[inaudible] . . . who was once married and finds herself suddenly alone, discovers that the whole rhythm of her life is disturbed. The bed is too big, thereâs no sound of the shaver in the morning, no need to plan meals around his likes or dislikes, or dress in what he especially liked. Dinner doesnât have to be at the same time anymore. The absence of his physical presence makes her feel âhalf.â She had depended on his just being in the same room. His presence gave her a sense of security. She had a place, next to him. Now itâs goneâand with it, a comfortable place in society.
For the divorced woman, thereâs the stigma of failure, and a feeling of being ostracized.
One widowed sister told me, âI feel like a fifth wheel, so awkward. Everything is âcouples.â They try to include me in the conversation for a while, but you can tell that they donât know just exactly what to say. I wonder if there really is a place for me.â
The life of the woman who was once married had been oriented towards another. She had tried to please him and serve him. She had tried to put on her husbandâs mind, to do the thingsâto do things the way he would want to have them done. She had the consolation of his physical presence and affection. He was like an emotional anchor; he gave her life direction. She had someone to support her, to give her self-esteemâsomeone who cared for her, protected her, needed her. He spoke the truth to her. They had a common history, the sharing of joys, sorrows, and just the humdrum of everyday living.
Perhaps in some cases, as in the case of the divorced woman, she had strained to work for years to make things turn out okay, just hoping each day that their situation would get better. And perhaps her husband had died before there was any hope of reconciliation, and sheâs been left with a lot of guilt feelings. Besides not having his support, she may have the responsibility of children, plus finances, house, car, and everything else. And she has the strain of conflicting emotions, along with the struggle of existing without him, whether the marriage was a good one or not.
I just recently finished reading a book about Saint Jane Frances de Chantal. She was widowed at the age of 28; her husband was shot in a hunting accident. And she was left with five children, and the oldestâor was it four? She was left with four children, and the oldest was five. And in her biography, it says she felt homeless:
Places revived memories which were painful. The great spiritual growth of the next few years, with its alternating periods of anguish and joy, doubt and certainty, took its course against a background of loneliness, hard work, and constant travel.
Saint Jane had been traveling back and forth from her father-in-lawâs house to her fatherâs house, supporting her father and father-in-law and taking care of their households.
The divorced woman is in a similar situation as [sic] the widow. She has to face the world with its problems and relationships, alone. Her security is gone, even if perhaps it was a shaky one. She still has a sense of loss. She feels devastated because of the failure. Perhaps he had left her for someone else. She feels a sense of responsibility for his looking elsewhere to have his needs met. If she had tried everything and she still has a sense that she didnât do enough, she feels rejected. Perhaps sheâs been through a life-and-death court battle, trying to look out for herself and her children.
Then thereâs the personal encounters with him afterward that bring to the surface a new surge of emotion. Talking with him on the telephone is a strain, or just having to fill out a form and putting âDâ in the box after âmarital status.â She can feel that stigma of being a divorced woman, and then that feeling of being ostracized comes up within her again.
The unmarried single woman also feels awkward in social situations. Everyone is couples [sic], and she just doesnât seem to fit in anywhere. She may become angry, frustrated, and resentful when sheâs relegated to going out alone or with other women like herself. Showers and weddings can be particularly painful. Often, just holding another womanâs baby is difficult for her.
Being single is often considered second-rate. No one may call her an old maid or a spinster anymore, but being toâreferred to as âGodâs unclaimed blessingsâ [sic] really doesnât help much. [Julie and all laugh.] She may view her singleness as a cross, a burden, a thorn in the flesh. She resents being looked upon, as she would state, as a âworkhorse.â She has a fear of being abnormal, of being viewed with suspicion. The world is certain that there is something wrong with herâor, she has a lover on the side. âNo woman in her right mind would choose to be single.â âItâs probably the result of a bad home life, or at least a bad relationship with her father.â âMaybe sheâs just afraid of men.â
Some may be more sympathetic than that. Family and friends can exert subtle pressure. [Whispering:] âI canât understand it; sheâs so attractive.â âYouâre such a good cook!â âAre you just going to have a career? Donât you think thatâs selfish?â
She has a fear of not being womanly or feminine, or that she canât be emotionally expressive or compassionate, [or] that she will never really be fulfilled as a woman if she stays single. She can find herself longing after a life which possibly is not in Godâs plan for her. Which sets in motion a whole set of problems in itself, one of which is the fear that she cannot make it being single. She wonât be able to handle her sexual attractions and desires, and that [sic] her God-given quality to bring forth and nurture life will never be satisfied. Her singleness is not a state in life to be esteemed or desired, and anyone who finds herself there after the marriageable age is to be pitied by her more fortunate married sisters. . . .
The unmarried woman has to contend with warring emotions. Sheâs also vulnerable to the lies of Satan and the teaching of the world. These three factors can cause a great distressâgreat stress on her responses to other people and on her relationships. The unmarried woman can feel inadequate in dealing with her emotions. She can feel insecure and fearful, anxious and doubtful, angry and bitter, depressed and discouraged, rejected, guilty, frustrated, condemned, full of self-pity, a failure, defensive, unwomanly, and full of sexual desire. And sheâs so ashamed to express these feelings, or to seek help in dealing with them, that this also can add to her loneliness. In fact, Satan will even tell her that no one understands, and so why should she try?
But Godâs word says, âGod is at work in you, making you willing and able to do his will.â She can take her emotions to the Lord by herself, or go to her head or a brother or sister in the community and ask them to pray with her, to help her to put her emotions under the lordship of Jesus.
Satan may also tell her that if her husband were here, or if she had a husband, she wouldnât be going through all this, or at least, he would be able to help her with her emotions. Fear, anxiety, insecurity, depression, and the rest are not overcome by having a relationship with a man, but [by] having a relationship with Jesus, and a relationship with brothers and sisters who have a relationship with Jesus.
The unmarried woman needs to arm herself with the truth in dealing with her emotions and the lies of Satan, for Satan uses our emotions against us. And while weâre hard-pressed, he makes those lies sound like truth. Thatâs the worst part of it, is that [sic] when he lies to us it sounds just like heâs telling the truth:
Whatâs to become of me?
Where am I headed?
I canât live life not being married.
I wonât be fulfilled if I donât have children of my own.
I canât be womanly if I donât have my own house, a place of my own.
I need to have a lifestyle of my own.
No one really cares.
No one really loves me.
Iâm no good.
Iâm a failureâeveryone can see it.
Nothing I ever do will turn out.
No one wants me.
Thereâs no one to protect me, no one to take my part.
No one understands.
No one to be on my side.
What if I canât keep my house? Where will I live?
Will I have enough money?
What if I have to go to the hospital or Iâm an invalid?
Will I die alone with no one to love me, no one who even knows or cares?
One single woman told me of an experience she had. She was driving fromâshe had taken a weekend off, and she was driving from one place to another. And she thought to herself, âIf Iâd be in a crash right now, who would know that I was dead? Who would even care?â And Satan just got her going with feeling absolutely and completely abandoned and alone.
I have to make decisions all by myself.
Thereâs no one to help me with the kids, legal matters, social security, taxes, insurance. Maybe I should sell the house.
Why did God have to take him like that? I could punch God right in the nose.
Thereâs no place for me.
Everyone has someone but me.
I donât fit.
I did so many wrong things; God will never forgive me.
Does it sound familiar? Iâve had those sameâsome of those same kinds of thoughts, and Iâve got a husband. [Light laughter.]
When the unmarried woman feels rejected, condemned, a failure, and full of self-pity, she needs to speak the truth to that. Scripture says, âIf God is for us, who can be against us?â âThere is no condemnation in Christ Jesus for those who love God.â
In Godâs eyes, the unmarried woman is acceptable. And youâre acceptable to all of your brothers and sisters, and you donât have to be all together! Weâre not gonna loveâweâre not gonna wait to love you until youâve got it all together and youâre improved and youâre all new. Nobodyâs there yet. And thatâs why we can love one another in the Lord.
If you really counted all the people who love you, you would find that there are many, many. You need to speak the truth that âthere are many people who love me, many people who care for me and care what happens to me.â
When I was going throughâjust listening to a lot of lies, Clem made me fillâmake out what he called a âtruth card.â And Iâveâmight have shared this with some of you. I know Iâve shared it with a lot of other women. But heâto every lie that every Satan would tell me, he made me write down the truth to that lie. And then when I started getting bombarded by those things, heâand I kept it in my Scriptureâhe made me pull out that truth card and read it. And it was true! I am loved by lots of people! There are lots of people who care for me, you know. It doesnât matter if I donât have it all together; people still love me anyway, you know. And that was just really, really freeing.
Fear, insecurity, and anxiety are dealt with by the knowledge that I have a head to pray with me. I have a head who is for me, and many brothers and sisters who are committed to me. I may not have all my needs metâbut who does? Along with the emotions of fear, insecurity, and anxiety are doubts that anyone will care enough to help you. And what you need to do is step out in faith and trust. You need to trust God, for he said, âI will never leave you orphans.â And you need to trust your brothers and your sisters. You need to make your needs known to your brothers and sisters, and trust that God will take care of your needs through them.
One sister shared with me not long ago that she didnât know what to do with her college-aged son. He had a problem, and she said to me, which was so dear, âIf my honey were here, I couldâwe could just talk about it and we wouldâand I would know just what to do. But without him, I donât know where to go.â And then the Lord showed her that she needed to go to a brother, and talk with that brother about that need. And she did do that, and the problem was taken care of.
You need to speak the truth to your depression. Often itâs because youâre feeling like a misfit. You have no place; you donât belong anywhere. Holidays and family celebrations are espe- âthe days that you have to especially watch depression. God has a place for you, and itâs right in the center of his will. And you cannot be there if you covet another place, or donât want to be in the place where God has put you. You need to know that God wants you to confront your negative emotions of depression and frustration. And just as we knowâitâs like when we know that weâre feeling depressed because itâs just before our menstrual cycle, and so we think to ourselves, âOh, well, thatâs why Iâm feeling kind of down and thatâs why Iâm feeling kind of depressed.â
Well, there are spiritual cycles too. And sometimes during those spiritual cycles, weâll get into kind of like a depression, and feeling just kind of down. And the way that we deal with that is say [sic], âYes, this is the way that I feel. But Iâm not gonna give into that. Iâm going to live through it. Jesus has the victory in my life.â
Two Thessalonians 5:18 [sic: Julie here quotes 1 Thessalonians 5:18] says, âIn everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.â So thank God for your place. Thank him for the strength and for the grace that he gives you to fulfill your state in life.
The other emotion that an unmarried woman is left withâthis might pertain mostly to a widow or divorced womanâis guilt. There has been no chance, often, to ask her husbandâs forgiveness for real wrongs, and she lives with Satanâs hammer of guilt. This kind ofâheâs just ready to club her over the head for a nonexistent wrongdoing. And she has a sense that sheâs so unworthy that she canât even ask for forgiveness. Now that is the biggest lie of all! Weâve got to recognize those lies that Satan whispers in our ear: âYouâre so unworthy that you canât even go to Jesus and ask his forgiveness. He wonât even forgive you. Thereâs no help for you.â Thatâs a lie! Jesus died for your sins. You are worthy. He made you worthy because of his death on the cross. So you have to look those sins right straight in the eye, and confess them. And then theyâll be forgiven. And then forget âem. Donât let Satan club you over the head again with them. Justâyouâve taken âem to the Lord, nowâand theyâve been dealt with. Forget âem. Donât let âem come back.
Soâand you also need to forgive your husband. Perhaps he died, and he really did do a lot of wrong things. Or perhaps, in the case of a divorced womenâwoman, he really did do a lot of wrong things against you. But you canât take those to him. But you can still forgive him, just like Saint Stephen forgave all those people who stoned him to death, and Jesus forgave the people who crucified him. You can also forgive people who donât ask your forgiveness. Thatâs a very, very cleansing kind of thing.
An unmarried woman can often be angry with God. You know, when my sister died, I was angry with God. I wanted to punch God right in the nose. How could he do that? She was only 24 years old. How could he do that? And so you could say, you know, âWhy did he have to take my husband? Why do I have to live by myself?â Nobody knows the reason. But God is God. He is sovereign. He is supreme. And heâs above all knowledge that we have. So what you need to know is that you can trust God with your life and with your husband, and that he can bring good out of a husbandâs death, he can bring good out of a divorce, and he can bring good out of being single.
Thereâs another worldly lie that says you canât be a woman without a man. But Scripture says, âMale and female he created them.â You were created a woman. God made you a woman, with all sorts of wonderful womanly qualities. And those qualities are not dependent on being married. Loving children, making a place, supporting and nurturing life are womanly qualities, not just married womanly qualities.
And here in the People of Praise, thereâs ample opportunity to express those womanly qualities. And Iâm always built up by the single sisters who live in household and care for those children, and love those children, and help make that place a good place to live. I was so touched by the women in my household who loved my kids. And I told this one woman one time, âI justâI know that I love my kids, but when I see how much you love my kids and how you make this such a good place to live, you know, it just builds me up so much.â In fact, my family room isâI donât have anything on the walls in my family room that belongs to me. It belonged [sic] to the other members of the household. Theyâve got their banners and their, you know, pictures up. And I forget thatâitâs mine and theirs, you know? Itâs like itâs our place, andâyou know, and theyâve helped make it a place.
And I had the sense that it might be a really good thing for you all just to come before the Lord and consider the possibility of two or three unmarried women living together. And Iâve always told the women in my household, âYouâre not gonna get holy praying in the bedroom by yourself. The way weâre gonna get holy is by bumping up against one another in the kitchen, you know. And itâyou know, you just have to exercise a lot of patience, you know, when you wanna open a drawer and thereâs a sister standing in front of it. Or you want to get a towel and thereâs a sister standing in front of the place where the towel is. And thatâs how weâre gonna get holy. And I know two of the sisters whoâve done that already. And I know that itâs not an easy thing, you know, to live with other women. Iâm not saying itâs easy. I know! But it just might be something that the Lord would be calling you to do.
Another lie is that you need sexual fulfillment. In other words, itâs impossible to do without it. The truth is, we do have sexual desires, but we donât have to fulfill them. Sex is a part of Godâs plan for man. We shouldnât pretend that we donât have sexual desires, nor should we experience guilt because we have them. But the unmarried woman cannot give them free rein in her life. In the past, it was believed that women didnât have problems with sexual desire. But we do. Women have a different makeup than men, but we are no less sexual than men. Thatâs the way God made us, Alleluia! And unmarried women do need to keep this part of their lives in order.
Women can experience sexual desire in different ways, in emotional ways and in physical ways. Emotional gratification comes when someone puts an arm around your shoulder, or you need someone strong to lean on or to take care of you. And also, thereâs a desire for physical release. We deal with these desires in the same way we de- âwe would with other desires, such as food: through discipline. Unmarried women cannot allow sexual desires to occupy their thoughts . . . and time. You must avoid those people, situations, and things which excite lust. Even parties, dances, books, movies, and clothes. You need to take authority over what happens with your emotions and thoughts, and control the way that those affect you.
Certain things are clear causes for arousal of sexual desire: physical contact, visual stimulation, and verbal and emotional closeness. Other causes, which sometimes are much more subtle but you still have to be very aware of, are loneliness, depression, self-pity, and tensions and pressures. With the tensions and the pressures, you need to get on a good schedule, and work that out with your head. Other causes are fantasy, dwelling on past sexual experience, and crushesâbeing attracted to someone you donât know wellâwhich can be mostly emotional but is [sic] also sexual.
The unmarried woman needs to remember that Jesus is Lord over that area of her life also, and he gives you the grace to live your state in life. In Christian community, you have the mutual love and respect of your brothers. Relating in right ways with the men as brothers, and not as potential mates, is a very freeing experience for the unmarried woman.
The unmarried woman who is off-balance emotionally can find that she relates to others in wrong ways. She can vacillate between absolute independence or [sic] total dependence. She may need to have her own car, her own money, her own house, make her own decisions, let no one take care of her or tell her what to do. She is strong, independent, self-sufficient. She can take care of things herself and doesnât need anyone telling her what to do. She is answerable to no one. She can act in any way she wants, do anything she wants, when she wants to do it.
Or, she calls someone about every decision, every problem. She needs someone to talk toâlong, long, long talksâprobably a man. She completely relies on others, without taking any responsibility for herself. Sheâs bound up with fear of making the wrong decision. (I want you to know that this is just kind of like possible ways that unmarried women can relate.) She can strive to become the center of attention by having constant difficulties. If you have difficulties somebody pays attention to you.
Or, she can become over-solicitous about her health. She could become depressed, unable to function or do her work; and she could become withdrawn. Her need for attention and love could lead to wrong behavior and to wrongâand to bad habits. She could begin to fantasize about relationships with men, or begin to act in a flirtatious way around them. She could even be led into wrong relationships with men.
Not only could she have a weakness toward a lack of self-discipline in herâin physical and mental areas of her life, but she can also succumb to self-indulgence. The unmarried woman could become very defensive, for there is no one else to defend her. Her focus can change from giving to needing to grasping. She can become jealous of legitimate relationships as she strives for love, affection, and esteem from the world.
Thereâs also the danger that the womanâthe unmarried woman can respond in wrong ways in dealing with people in the world. She can become suspicious when needing estimates for repair work. Instead of seeking help through a knowledgeable friend, she can overcompensate for her lack by talking and acting in an authoritative way so that others think that sheâs really in charge of the situation. A phone call to have a bill adjusted could throw her into a turmoil. And she can lash out defensively at a dentistâs assistant or others in a similar capacity.
At mixed parties, she could be flirtatious and overbearing, or quiet and shy. If men are solicitous because she seems so pathetic and weak, she knows that this can cause jealousy in their wives, and this alone can make her feel awkward and uneasy. She felt âsafeâ to [sic] relating to men while she was married, and now she feels vulnerable. Often the unmarried woman has to put up with outworn and off-colored [sic] cliches and comments. âNow youâre footloose and fancy free!â âAh, hereâs the merry widow! Are you out rovinâ?â Or worse, a proposition for after the party, labeled a âfriendly drink.â
Because the unmarried woman feels inadequate and lonely, she seeks someone to give her direction, someone to be a sounding board, someone to compensate for her weakness. She may even seek an intimate relationship.
For the widow or divorced woman, all her relationships were couples. Previous friends were âours.â Very often the source of support is gone. She can begin to panic and make errors in judgment, looking for new sources of support.
The unmarried woman with children feels constantly defensive. This might even be more so for a divorced woman, for anything that goes wrong is labeled, âWell, you know, they come from a broken home.â Or, âWhat can you expect? Thereâs no man in the house.â
The unmarried woman often looks to her family as a safe place. Even if they are a thousand miles away, she can go there if all else fails. The unmarried woman finds that she looks to her family for a sense of self-worth and self-esteem, for, she thinks, no one else accepts her for who she is. She looks to her family to give family-oriented holidays some kind of meaning, and to be included in family situations. She looks to them to just drop over, so that she knows someone is thinking about her. She looks to her family to speak the truth to her. But often, they donât understand what her needs are, and she comes away disappointed and frustrated.
A lot of times, she depends on her father, brother, or a son for a hug, for help with plumbing or cars or income tax, for direction and support. But, here again she might feel like a burden, because they have their own concerns and their own families to take care of. Sheâs often left without any emotional support, because she sees that sharing her burdens, her cares, and her pains with her family is too much for them, and she hesitates to do it. Or they just have no understanding of what sheâs going through at all.
Her relationships in community help the unmarried woman to feel a part of a family. One unmarried woman told me one time that she went to a wake all by herself andâbut as she walked in to the funeral home, she looked around and she thought, âAh! I could go up and talk to any number of brothers and sisters who are here.â And she felt immediately a part, that she had a sense of belonging.
The unmarried woman in community knows that the People of Praise will take care of her. However, she still has many of the same fears and questions. âWhere will they put me? Will I be able to keep my own house? Will they let me visit my grown children, or visit my family? Will I be able to take a vacation? Will I have enough money? What if Iâm sick or an invalid? What will they do with me? Will I be able to have a voice in the decisions that affect my life?â
Sometimes, she feels resentful because sheâs expected to give time and energy which she feels she doesnât have. Or, she feels that the needs of other groups within the communityâlike the single men and women or the married people or the childrenâare being considered before hers. And she thinks, âThereâs something for everyone but me.â
Sometimes she feels frustrated because she feels that her situation is misunderstood or not considered or not taken seriously. And this can result in shaky relationships with her brothers and sisters as she tries to defend herself, and she can become touchy and emotional, or she can make excuses for herself.
The unmarried woman in community can often feel frustrated and resentful, which can manifest itself in grumbling and complaining, or gathering together in a party spirit with others like herself, because she sees that her expectations of community have not been met.
Isaiah 541 [sic] says, âDelight yourself in the Lord, and he will bring it to pass.â God supplies all your needs. He wants to bless you with an abundant life. He also wants to use the gifts that heâs given to you. Jesus is your Lord and Master, and heâs given you the Holy Spirit to take you over the high seas of your life.
In this lastâon this retreat that the handmaids went to, one woman was talking about the high seas that we have in our life. And she says, âSome of us go through those high seas as if we had to do the crawl.â And she says, âand we get so tired and so worn out.â She says, âBut we donât have to live like that! The Lord has given us a pontoon boat, the Holy Spirit! And he raises us up above those high seas in our lives.â And so we can look at the Holy Spirit as our pontoon! [Light laughter.]
You are weak only inasmuch as you donât appropriate the gifts and the power of the Spirit, and lonely inasmuch as you do not appropriate the relationships available. God is your shield, your rock, and your strength. And your brothers and sisters are your support. You have a head who loves you, who wants to take care of you, who wants to console you, who wants to champion you, wants to speak the truth to you, who wants to be concerned for your concerns and listen to your fears and build up your faith and take care of you in every single way.
Also last weekend, we had a word to the un- âto the married women. And that word was, âInvest your time in your sisters.â And I would give you the same word. Invest your time in your sisters. God wants to form strong bonds of love and service among his women. God wants his women to really love one another. He wants his women to really trust one another. He wants his women to get rid of thinking that theyâre betterâor not as good asâthe other women. He wants his women to share their lives, their weaknesses, and strengths. And if you can believe that your sisterâs heart is set on the Lord, then you can trust her, and you can think that their [sic] actions are not always where their heart is.
God wants you to just be yourself, a daughter of the King. He wants you to be honest right where you are. He wants you to learn to relax with your sisters, and to laugh together, and to share the silly, stupid things that you do with each other. He wants you to build one another up in love and to speak in right ways to each other. And not to be afraid to speak the truth to each other. You can be sympathetic with one another, but itâs also a freeing thing to speak the truth to each other. And he wants you to tell each other how good you are, and how you love each other, and to give each other reassurance. And he wants you to serve one another as sisters, to take a concern for each other.
He told us in prophecy, about a year and a half ago, that we should clothe one another in beauty. Ever since that time, the desire of my heart has been just to clothe my sisters in beauty, just to see âem grow, you know, and just to thrive in the Lord. And thatâs what we need to do for each otherâlike, to put our sisters forward, to want the best for them, to build them up in love, and to see them grow, you know, to grow in the Lord! And to give one another lots of hugs and to be one an- âyou know, to be one anotherâs advocate. You know, the Holy Spirit is the advocate, and Satan is the adversary. And we just wanna be our sisterâs advocate! We want their lives to go better because weâre for them, you know?
And you also just really need to let your sisters support you. Like, they canât support you unless they know what your needs are. So you have to just, like, open yourselves up to them, and let them do things for you. And you need to be, more and more, women of faith and prayer, because your prayer really makes a difference. It really affects the situations that you pray for.
Judith is a good example of prayer. And weâll talk about her in the talk on women in Scripture. And being women to the Lord by deciding to be Godâs women also calls other women to get closer to the Lord. And you can just really be good examples to one another by just really letting the Lord just kind of take over your life. And he wants you to kind of, like, detach yourself from the world, and especially watch out for the worldâs teaching about unmarried women and what they oughta be doing and how they oughta be thinking.
For the kingdom of God is what the Lord is calling us all to. And Saint Paul says itâs easier to be single than to be married. And I know that maybe you wonât agree with that, but there are lots of advantages to being unmarried. But the world and Satan and our own flesh kind of war against Godâs plan for the unmarried, and for seeing his plan for the unmarried woman with clarity. And what we have to do is just seek the Lord for his plan. And we have to know that God is a loving Father, and that he has a plan for each of us, whether single, widowed, divorced, or married, that what weâthat the desire of our heart is to be right in the center of his will. And what we need to do to do that is to become more and more like Jesus, who said, âLord, I donât want my will, but your will be done.â
[Whispering] Glory to God.
Endnotes
1. Isaiah 54 includes this general meaning, but not the exact words. These words are found in Psalm 37:4. Return to text
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